Facts About Crushes- A Special Feeling or A Romantic Friendships

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A crush represents in pure and perfect form the dynamics of romantic philosophy:  the explosive interaction of limited knowledge, outward obstacles to further discovery- and boundless love.

Crushes happen to some people often and to almost everyone sometimes. The dynamics of modern life are forever throwing people into fleeting contact with strangers, at airports, on train journeys etc.  Sometimes a person is attracted to a stranger. Without any rational explanation the stranger seems to be a soul mate.

FACT 1: A crush reveals how willing a person is to allow details to suggest a whole for example the arch of an eyebrow may suggest a personality. From only a few cues a person with a crush will anticipate years of happiness and profound mutual sympathy.

FACT 2: As a child’s body matures and as they get older, their feelings too change and mature. They may develop special feelings for another person and this is described as a crush.

FACT 3: Crushes are most often associated with teen aged girls. However maturity does not suggest the end of crushes. Crushes persist throughout adulthood. It is just that a mature person can distinguish between a crush and a lasting relationship.

FACT 4: Teenaged girls identify twelve crushes that they will go through in their lifetimes. They are the childhood crush, the celeb crush, the work crush, the not your type crush, the hate crush, the school re-union crush, borderline inappropriate authority crush, the barista crush, the crush you’d never admit, the see him everywhere crush and the this really could be it crush.

FACT 5: Crushes do crazy things to the brain and heart. They can make people act like they are crazy. Converting a crush into a relationship requires awareness and self-control.

FACT 6: Romantic friendships in nineteenth century America were known as crushes, spoons or smashes. They existed mostly between girls and also between boys. With the advent of college education for girls, they were freed of the constraints of their fathers of husbands and began to explore their own boundaries, build their own values and try on the role of leaders in a world free of male domination. Crushes were common among college girls. They were either unaware of the sexual undertones of these relationships or accepted them nonchalantly.

FACT 7: In her book ‘Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers’ historian Lillian Faderman chronicles these relationships as an agent of cultural change.

FACT 8: Post World War 1, crushes between women became increasingly taboo. This is possibly because of Sigmund Freud’s psychology and Havelock Ellis’s sexology which created an awareness of the active female sexual nature, previously thought to be latent.

FACT 9: In the twentieth century the term crush indicated a harmless attraction for another person. Well known people have admitted to having them. Raquel Welch, the 1960’s international sex symbol said, ‘I had crushes on all my leading men.’

FACT 10: In the July issue of the OAH Magazine of History, Rona M Wilk said that ‘by 1920 the door had closed on the last breath of innocence.’ Today that door is reopening.  More and more people today freely discuss their crushes with their friends, in print and on the social media. It is accepted as perfectly natural to have a crush on members of the same sex, the opposite sex and on men and women who are gay.

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